Jon Delikat
Despite being H-less, Jon is a tall person. Jon’s from Connecticut, or Virginia, or something like that, and does serious theater like Dog Lady and serious theatre like There’s A Bee In The Car: The Musical. Jon’s studying Chinese and Government, a highly profitable, but likely evil-based endeavor, as part of his plan to graduate from Cornell, woo us with his doe-brown eyes, sing us to sleep, and then enslave us all on farms in the Gansu province.